I can’t quite believe it, but we’ve just completed our final injection (other than the trigger shot coming tonight!), and I feel an overwhelming sense of pride for making it this far. The anticipation of each injection has been intense, but here we are, at the end of this part of the journey.

Tracking Progress

This week has been filled with tracking appointments at the clinic every other day. I always feel anxious before each visit, so it’s been a week dominated by nerves. I can't help but wonder what if my body isn't responding as it should? This process is so new to us but I'm doing my best to stay present, knowing that thinking too far ahead feels too overwhelming. At the same time, I’m trying to stay realistic, understanding that obstacles are part of the journey and my body might not always respond as we hope. 

At each appointment, they perform an internal scan to count the growing follicles and measure their size. With my AMH level being high at 64, we expected a lot of follicles, but seeing over 40 on the screen at our first tracking appointment was still quite a shock. They reassured us that my body was responding well, so we kept the dose (125 IU of Ovaleap) the same and got the go ahead to introduce a new injection (0.25mg of Fyremadel), which I now inject into the top of my leg every morning. This one really stings, leaving little white dots under my skin that look like tiny bee stings.

As the days went by, my next tracking appointment showed that my follicles were progressing nicely. They counted 51 in total, and I can physically feel it. The bloating and discomfort have been intense. Every movement feels like a challenge; even walking has become painful, but I’m still trying to do a gentle walk each day. As a yoga teacher, not being able to move freely is tough, but I’ve kept up my daily meditation practice, even if the physical side of things has had to slow down.

At this appointment, they told me my ovaries were “kissing,” meaning they were so close together from the sheer number of follicles. You can see them in the photo above. It was no surprise considering how bloated I’ve been feeling.

Yesterday, we had our last tracking appointment, and once again, my body showed good progress. We’re set to do the trigger shot tonight at 10.30 pm. I’ve been so exhausted in the evenings, so staying awake this late will be a challenge, but I know the anxiety will likely keep me up anyway!

Given my high AMH levels and the number of follicles, I’m at high risk of developing OHSS (Ovarian Hyperstimulation Syndrome). I’m worried about this, but I’m trying to stay calm and take things one step at a time.

I must give a special mention to the lovely staff at Bourn Hall in Wickford. They really are amazing. I have been so impressed with how kind and caring they are towards us. They put my mind at ease at every appointment. I ask so many questions but they always make me feel like I am welcome to ask more. It makes such a difference to our journey feeling like we are in good hands.

Reconnecting with My Body

This journey has been anything but easy. After three years of trying to conceive, seeing my period arrive each month was heartbreaking. I’ve had natural periods like clockwork for over 20 years, so I never imagined that trying to conceive would be this hard. At times, I’ve felt such anger towards my body, as if we were working against each other.

Something has shifted about a month into our fertility treatment. I started to see glimpses of how incredible my body really is. At first, I resisted these thoughts, feeling like I needed more proof before I could believe them. But slowly, I’m transitioning from feeling completely disconnected from my body to finally understanding and appreciating it.

Rebuilding my relationship with my body wasn’t something I expected from IVF, but it’s happening. With every check-up, I’m in awe of what my body is managing to do. It’s all so fascinating. Instead of focusing on what my body can’t do, I’m finally appreciating what it can.

For the first time in a long time, I feel genuinely proud of my body. I know I’m asking a lot of it right now, and I can feel it fighting so hard to keep up.

Welcome back, body—we’re on the same team again. I’ve missed you ❤️‍🩹