The anticipation leading up to our first IVF injection was unlike anything I’d ever experienced. This was a significant moment in our journey as it is the part I have been the most overwhelmed and anxious about. 

We have to do the injections at the same time every evening so we opted for 7:30 pm every night. Earlier that day, I had an acupuncture appointment, hoping it would help me relax. Afterward, I felt a sense of calm, but the two hours at home waiting for the injection time seemed to stretch on forever.

Overwhelmed but Prepared

During our fertility appointments, we were shown how to do the injections, along with so much other information. It was overwhelming; it felt impossible to remember everything. Thankfully, we were given a step-by-step video. We watched it once before retrieving the injection from the fridge and then watched it again for reassurance.

Even though I'm not scared of needles, I was filled with anxiety about how my body would react. Dan prepared the injection, and I braced myself. We had decided that he would administer all the injections, which felt right for us. These injections are done in the lower belly, just below the belly button, in what they call the “smile line.”

First Injection: A Waterfall of Emotions

When the first injection went in, I felt a sting and a wave of nausea, likely from the stress. We watched the timer to make sure it stayed in for the required 10 seconds. The emotional release was overwhelming. I cried, and cried, and then I cried some more. It was as if the floodgates had opened, releasing the anxiety I had been holding onto for so long.

Dan gave me lots of cuddles, and I couldn't really say much. I just sat there crying in his arms. My safe place. Dan played the song “Proud” by Heather Small and told me how proud he is of me and how he will tell our kids how strong their mum is, which obviously made me cry some more.

Support from Loved Ones

In those moments, it felt like everyone close to me knew exactly what I needed to hear. Within ten minutes, messages of love and encouragement poured in from friends and family. Their messages provided a much-needed boost and reminded me that we are not alone on this journey.

Adjusting to the Routine

We are now three injections in, and despite the repetition, I still don’t feel comfortable with them. The injections are starting to leave bruises on my stomach. I bruise easily; I often find bruises after acupuncture, so I expected this to happen. Even though I expected them, it's still unsettling to see the bruises forming on my skin.

After each injection, I lay down with a cup of herbal tea, trying to soothe myself. I seem to develop a headache after the injection, which I am sure is from the stress of everything as opposed to a side-effect from the medication.

We Move Forward

We are four weeks into our treatment now, and in two days, we will start having check-ups every other day. I am nervous about this, but at the same time, I trust that my body has reacted as it should so far. I never sleep well the night before a fertility appointment, so I need to plan to ensure I get enough rest. With appointments every other day, sleep is essential.

This journey continues to be hard, but with each step, I grow stronger. I am grateful for the support and love surrounding us, and I remain hopeful for what lies ahead.

Justine x