The beginning of this IVF phase feels like an anxious period of waiting - waiting to see if the withdrawal bleed arrives after stopping the previous tablets.

Physical Changes

Within 48 hours of stopping the tablets, the constant nausea vanished, and my heightened sense of smell returned to normal. My aversion to fruit also disappeared, so I'm back to enjoying it again, which feels good!

The first sign of blood appeared 60 hours after stopping the tablets, accompanied by belly aches. At first, I was unsure what the withdrawal bleed would look like. Would it be heavy like a period or something lighter? I resisted the urge to Google it, knowing I can't change what will be and that everyone's body will react differently. Eventually, after what felt like forever, the full bleed began at 72 hours. I've never been so excited to see blood before, I literally run to Dan to tell him :-)

I've been feeling bloated and uncomfortable, and the bleeding has been heavy and constant which also makes me feel tired. It doesn't quite feel like a period because the belly aches are different. Despite these discomforts, I am proud of my body for responding as it should. 

Facing the Unknown

I'm anxious about starting the injections tonight. On this journey so far, anticipation has often been worse than reality, so I'm reminding myself of that but I'm still scared about how my body will react. At this stage, I am at high risk of developing OHSS (Ovarian Hyperstimulation Syndrome) but I'm hopeful it won't happen. My mantra remains: one day at a time. It's always harder when moving on to the next treatment phase - the unknown.

The Power of Support and Communication

Dan's support has been incredible during this journey. He makes me feel safe and is doing an amazing job looking after me. Our communication has always been great, which really helps. I keep him informed of everything I'm feeling physically and mentally so he can support me and look out for me. It's definitely a team effort, and his support is both incredible and essential. I know it's not easy for him either and I feel like we are both grateful to each other for our love and support. 

Reflecting on the Journey

I've been on this journey of fertility treatment for over three weeks now, and it feels like a long time. I believe I'm in a good position physically and mentally, but I can't help feeling a bit disheartened that I've already been through so much and haven't even started the hardest part yet.

My therapist advised me to treat this like my full-time job before it started, and it certainly feels that way. I have to show up every day for myself, my future, and my future family.

Embracing Emotions

I've been quite emotional lately. I love watching the Olympics and I cry every time someone wins a gold medal. Dan and I laugh about it - when someone crosses the finish line, he slowly turns his head towards me to see tears running down my face, and then we burst out laughing. It doesn't matter what event or country they're from; if they win gold, it makes me cry!

Overall, I still feel like I'm in my little bubble and protecting my energy. It's important to me to capture the raw details and I hope that by sharing my experience I can provide some insight and support to others on this journey.

Justine x